If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
