gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Nicole vs. Life
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
