talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
