Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
