I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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