As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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