Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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