Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
