...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
