Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
