I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
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I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
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I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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