lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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