Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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