I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
