she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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