That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
