READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
