first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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