is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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