i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
