Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
