I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
where are my eyebrows?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
