I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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