Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
