I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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