Non-Jews are for practice
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
