aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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