Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
