On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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