No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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