around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
