I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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