When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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