..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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