I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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