I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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