Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
