we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
