yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
