i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
