I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
