i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
