Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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