Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
