Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
