so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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