The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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