The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize