i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
