Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
