I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
