I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.