Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
