Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
