Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

ru fi oooo

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(206): View more from Washington

Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.

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(630): View more from Illinois

we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple

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These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
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(510): View more from California

And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory

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(859): View more from Kentucky

he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club

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(718): View more from New York

Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can

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