I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize