We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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