Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?

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(512): View more from Texas

He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(712): View more from Iowa

Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.

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(949): View more from California

I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.

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(716): View more from New York

He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in

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