Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.