He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
