I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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