i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
