i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize