Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize