So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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