i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
