I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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