Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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