It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My life is pants optional.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize