People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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