Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
