69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
