i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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