4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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