he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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